The Good Stuff!

Before my children were born, and they are now nine and ten, I fell in love with some white dishes that were on sale at K-Mart. These dishes were a delicate creamy white with raised borders of orchard fruits, and they somehow represented a beautiful and well ordered life where Martha Stewart style entertaining was actually an enjoyable experience!  At that time, I loved to cook and throw spectacular get togethers…Valentine brunches, surprise birthday parties, spooktacular Halloween gatherings…and I always used the “good stuff”.

Now I’m sure you know what I mean when I say the “the good stuff”.  The good dishes, the crystal, the party platters, the best food…whatever it took to make my guests feel special.  Afterward, I would pack everything away until the next special occasion.  The only person who would ever think to retrieve these lonely items in between those times, was my mother.  When she would visit, she thought nothing of reaching into my china cabinet, where my treasured white dishes and crystal glassware resided, and selecting a long stemmed goblet for her morning juice!

Of course the idea of doing this for myself never entered my mind…in fact I always teased her about being so “snooty” that she wouldn’t settle for a regular glass like the rest of us.  My mother would smile as she sipped from her fancy glass, and ask me “what are you saving all this stuff for?”  I’m not saving it, I would explain, I’m taking care of it so that it doesn’t get chipped or damaged…so I have a full set for entertaining.  “If it breaks” she would say, “buy some more!”  Never mind that these patterns were no longer available, never mind that a service for thirteen is nowhere near as orderly as a full service for sixteen…just throw caution to the wind and use the good stuff everyday…

For me, this has always been difficult.  I buy clothes that I love, and then let them hang in the closet until just the right occasion comes up (because I don’t want to get a stain on them before hand).  I have been known to go an entire season without the right occasion occurring, and then find myself packing away a treasured piece of clothing with the tag still on it, never having been stained…but never having been enjoyed either. In this same spirit, I have expensive perfume in my closet that rarely sees the light of day, and I have my beautiful, creamy white dishes with the orchard border on display in my antique oak china cabinet!

Obviously, since these dishes came from K-Mart (and they were on sale for goodness sakes) I don’t save them because of their immense monetary value…I think it’s more about the idea that I can’t replace them…maybe it’s the special feeling I get when I set the table with them…I don’t know.  These days, as a busy mother of two wonderful girls, and the wife of one of the hardest working and most loving men I have ever known, I don’t entertain as much anymore.  When I do, it tends to be the paper plate and juice pouch variety anyway, and what we use as our everyday dishes is a chipped and broken set of cheap Dollar Store stoneware that I bought almost five years ago.

Last week, my husband and I attended a get together that has changed the way that I look at “the good stuff”.  We got dressed up, and went to a rare gathering of friends and family…some we hadn’t seen in years.  The room was packed, and everyone caught up on each other’s lives as best we could, in between the hugs and the tears.  You see, we were there to say goodbye to a wonderful and well loved, thirty six year old husband and father, who had passed away only a few short weeks after receiving the devastating news of his terminal illness. 

Like the rest of us, he probably went about his days doing all those “have to’s and need to’s”.  And like most of us, he probably had lots of plans for the future, and all the good times to come.  Maybe he even sacrificed and put off things that he wanted until there was more money, or more time?  I don’t know.  What I do know, is that every day is a special occasion, whether it’s filled with fabulous food and friends or hamburger helper and messy kids.   I can’t wait to see the look on my family’s face when they come to the dinner table tonight and see “the good stuff”, because my mom is right…what are we saving it for?

From my heart to yours,